Martin has promised Mandy an all day coach trip to the Cotswolds, a nice day out, rolling countryside, and peaceful surroundings. Bliss thinks Martin, Mandy is not so sure about Martin’s plans for a day out. She recalls a weekend in London that was centred on a north London industrial estate and a more recent bank holiday seaside trip with the family where her little boys where bullied by some big local yobs.

"It’s the highlight of our week, a coach trip down to The Cotswolds", coos Martin. Initially she’s not impressed, "Once you’ve seen one forest, you’ve seen them all", but is won over by Martin’s charm, the promise of a romantic lunch in a little country inn and rolling hills as far as the eye can see.

Tuesday dawns. Surprise, surprise, Martin has brought all the kids along and hired a coach for the day.

There’s much merriment on the back sides, Jonathan and Alex are going back to where they went to school. A chance to meet up with old friends.

The party stops off at a little country hotel for a light lunch before arriving at their destination. Mandy’s face falls. Rolling hills, yes, peaceful surroundings, well apart from the Forest Green Ultras, yes, but Mandy wasn’t expecting a football match and more dirty washing in the morning.

Wednesday, more washing for Mandy. By hand as the washing machine is bust and money is tight, too tight for a new washer. Its another hand job.

For a treat, Martin takes Mandy to Homebase in the afternoon, on the pretext of looking for a washer on "Over 50s Discount Day". Secretly, he’s on the look out for some roofing materials as Martin has noticed a few leaks on the roof recently. Secretly (Martin’s one to keep his cards close to his chest), he’s hoping he can blag being 50+ with his greying hair and hand dog expression. No joy, he needs proof of age, no washer.

Thursday, a surprise visitor pops by. Youngest son, Richard who has just flown the nest for a great new job pops in unexpectedly. His home office is in Newcastle and he’s been assigned to somewhere in the South East. With cheeks red from the detour off the A1, he proffers, "Hi, Mum, Hi Dad, can’t stop, but I’ve baked you a meat and tatty pie for dinner, hope you enjoy it. I’d leave you some money for housekeeping but my new boss hasn’t paid me yet". Before, Mandy can offer any parental advice, Richard is out of the door, "Richard, the nights are drawing in, don’t forget your vest and don’t go mixing with those soft southern ponces". He’s gone, emptiness fills the house again.

Martin’s upstairs, watching his secret video collection. Mandy’s in front of the fire, sewing some of the boys tops that are showing signs of wear and tear.

Friday, another quite night in. In the evening, Martin digs out one of the recent family videos. It’s the one about that recent trip to Fleetwood, the whole family appear to be running about like headless chicken, seemingly no idea what they were doing.

Saturday dawns. At a loose end in the afternoon, Martin and Mandy head down to their allotment. Armed with bottles of water and high protein snack bars you’d think they were going for a week, not just an afternoon tending their allotment. Mandy makes the shed feel like home, carefully placing the drinks under the bench. There’s even a rug just in case they feel the cold. They settle down on the bench.

Martin and Mandy are feeling their age, so they’re quite prepared to sit back in their spacious, open fronted shed and let others do all the hard work. "Neil, get over here, Duane and Ranks, stop fighting, Michael, don’t dig up the grass". It is just one long string of complaints, even the natives all around them are getting restless.